Reflection on PARK outcome

This situation has meant we've had to adapt our work in order to not only function within it, but also reflect on it. No work has had to do this more than all of the outcomes everyone had planned to make for Park, because a central theme within this project has been engagement with the public, something that is no longer possible. However, although this is hardly a positive period in all of our lives, the opportunity it has presented us with, in how we think about the work we create, how we create it, and then how we present it, has been incredibly significant. By being challenged in such a way, I like to think that the work we've all created has been elevated to new levels, and will act as inspiration for years to come.

In terms of my work specifically, interactivity was a key element that I was determined to maintain, despite the lockdown. I had wanted people to wear the headpiece and get transported as the light an sound around them became distorted and confused, so I have created a film that captures all of these elements, all filmed in my back garden. It is simple - shots from inside and outside the headpiece have been interwoven with each other, to summarise the experiences of both the wearer and the observer, roles I would have liked the public to have filled, but alas no. Instead, the camera takes on the role of the public, hence enabling a level of interactivity as much as can be established in these times of isolation. As the film's primary exhibition space is my Instagram, people can have a further level of interaction with the piece by watching the video, and if they want, liking it and commenting on it. In terms of social distancing, this film further relates to it (aside from the barrier of the screen protecting us from contamination). The cones themselves are a repelling shape, not allowing anyone to get close to the head, and I gave specific instructions for the camera, when filmed from the outside, to maintain a minimum distance from me. Hence there are all of these little elements that I feel work really well in the given situation.

As I mentioned, sound and light are crucial to this piece of work, so I have edited it to emphasise these elements accordingly. The shift from light to dark as you move from outside to inside is exaggerated to create a feeling of disorientation, a dynamic chiaroscuro, if you will. Furthermore, the sound of breathing inside the headpiece, already amplified by the steel structure around your head, is dramatised to make an overall film that is quite uncomfortable to watch, referencing much of the work around breathing and suffocation I've done in my Quick Performances. I have made it so because to wear the headpiece itself is to instigate confusion - as you can see in the film, I got lost in my own garden, missing a turn and nearly falling into some trees. This all relates to the rest of my work in Part 3: this confusion, this isolation, this suffering, is all an act of escapism from the chaos we're surrounded in, none more pertinent than right now. There is also a potential for physical pain, if I tripped whilst wearing the headpiece, and the only reason I didn't is because I slowed down and felt out the path with my feet. For the duration you are wearing it, the headpiece corrupts your reality and allows you to break free. Yet these two elements highlight the temporary nature of the escapism - eventually you are going to take off the headpiece, returning you to the world, or, if you wear it for long enough as I did, your body finds ways to relocate a sense of direction and control instigated by our reality, and so you fall back in the trap. Escape is temporary, but that's all you need to give you hope.

Edit - 02/05/20

Yesterday was the final performance seminar, and in it I gathered some really interesting and positive feedback:

"I imagine it must be quite disorienting because the shape of the spikes probably amplifies the sounds from all directions, interesting way of exploring proximity?"

"I am attracted by the contrast between the perspectives, and also thinking if there is relation of restricting sense perceptions? As the two perspectives show really different senses."

"Also maybe having both perspectives side by side could enhance the experience for the viewer."

"Ewan, it is interesting how this futuristic, theatrical character exists in familiar domestic environment."

Other aspects that were discussed that I don't have direct quotes for is the anxiety people felt listening to the breathing, as well as the contrast in tone of the two perspectives- one is very dark and uncomfortable, whereas the other is rather humorous with me stumbling around with a massive thing on my head. I think it's a good sign that I can't think of much to say in response to these, because they all pretty much hit the nail on the head- it shows that what I am trying to embody is registering in other people's minds, and so I am reassured of the success of this piece of work :)

This week's set of Quick Performances - the final ones- have largely focused around movement (apart from EARPHONE, but I'll talk about that later). The principle idea is that by limiting one's ability to move through a space, you limit their ability to experience and interact with it, hence becoming a form of isolation/ sensory deprivation. Furthermore, I placed these ones in the context of the stairs to generate the potential for danger- pain is implied in a possible future of the performance, along with the prospect of pain caused by the fact that I have tape directly on my fairly hairy body (and we've all seen WAX). I'd particularly like to focus on COVER, because I feel it summarises all of the different elements I've been looking at. By covering a substantial amount of my skin with the tape, I limit my ability to feel the world around me, something I am desperate to do, because I can't see or hear much. Not only that, but my mouth is covered, and the tape is wrapped around my chest and throat, making it very difficult to breathe, and referencing all of the other suffocation-related works. The anticipation of the pain of the tape removal is greatest here, due to the skin coverage, but I didn't want to show it's removal as I had done before, because I wanted to rely on the Performative Object of the tape wet and piled up in the shower to suggest at the story of it's removal. The presence of the water references all of the drowning works, but it also aids in boosting the discomfort, because they are two materials that do not mix.

EARPHONE is interesting because it does something that no other has done before - created an element of interactivity. This is because my sister, who is usually behind the camera and so has no relative presence, screams into my ear. I have said before how I view these films as documentations of a possible live performance, and so by having the camera person bring themselves into actuality suggests a breaking down of the camera boundary. It is also interesting to consider this in the era of social distancing - there is a distance between me and my audience as defined by the screen, but by deconstructing it in this way it highlights a potential for future interaction with art and with each other in a post-corona age.

Other opinions...

I finally got round to getting some feedback on the work, and here it is:

"Ewans art work seeks to cause the viewer an unplayable sense of discomfort. The harm caused to the subject (Ewan) is jarring to watch, and much of the audible elements portray a losing battle against himself, eg, the heavy breathing or the gurgles and gasps. Perhaps the most disturbing example is 'Arse Pipe', which could be a symbol for the self destructive effects of attempting to be fully independent. The use of tape to create structures makes the art appear unfinished and unpolished, adding to the discomfort. As we are used to seeing gleaming polished metallic structures through mediums such as science fiction TV and film, the scrunched appearance of the silver tape suggests something is wrong or not put together properly." (courtesy of my boyfriend, doesn't he write all lovely)

Reflection on ARSE PIPE

This work, although not entirely different to it's approach, with themes of suffocation, as well as using the same pipe (just a different attachment) as WATER PIPE, I think it is obvious why I feel there is a need to discuss this one in greater depth. Put simply, it's disgusting. There is a tube going into my anus (yes, directly into), connected to my mouth, and I assure you, that was not a pleasant experience for me (due to the fact I was breathing in my farts and just general arse smell - I have no issue with things being up there, although other people will probably project their feelings about it onto me as they watch the work, and so become very uncomfortable). Hence you get the theme I'm revolving around with all these works of suffering as escapism, except its on a different level to the others so far I think due to the higher level of sensory (particularly smell) and bodily engagement (whereas before the tape was going on my hands/ arms/ feet/ face, places where we expect and experience interaction, the fact it is going into a 'no-no' zone amplifies the effect). Just a quick point on olfactory engagement - the reason I am so aware of the power smell has on people is the strength of my own reaction to 'Resurrecting the Sublime', by Christina Agapakis (see my research page).

On top of that, this work is much more sexual than the others, which again, is due to the prevalence of the anus. Of course, there has always been a certain level of sexual tension, with binding my hands and references to auto-erotic asphyxiation throughout, but this takes it to perhaps a more explicit level. One thing I particularly like about this work is the 'performative object' that has arisen from the process - in a similar way to how the waxing produced the strips of tape covered in arm hair, this work has produced it's own little sculpture. As I've mentioned, I made two attachments for the pipe for the different performances, which can be attached and detached at will. When I removed the anal attachment for further inspection, I found that there was hair and faecal residue on the device, instantly allowing you to tell where it's been without even needing to watch the performance. And when I showed my sister, she ran away, so that has to be a good sign!

The final point about this work I want to make is how it plays on the themes of isolation much more than the other Quick Performances. I say that because by connecting the two of the main holes (we'll take the nose and mouth as one, they go to the same pipe), you essentially isolate the system from the outside world - it becomes independent, much like a terrarium. Now obviously this is unsustainable - you'd die of suffocation before you even get to having to thinking about eating your own shit, but this highlights why I consider these performances as distractions, moments of escapism, from entropy - you have to conform eventually, these just take your mind off it. The only real escape is death.

Today I carried out more of my quick performances, with a particular focus on breathing, for instance covering my mouth and nose, wrapping tape around my neck and blocking off my airways with water. I think aside from the standard themes I am exploring with these works which I have discussed at length (pain/ suffering/ escapism/ distraction/ entropy etc...), they perhaps highlight in my subconscious how suffocated I am feeling by being trapped in doors pretty much 24/7, aside from the odd dog walk. It is interesting to think that by being isolated, we are escaping the entropy of the virus, but that is causing us to suffer in other ways.

Aside from the breathing, there was another focus on the skin/ hair. Interestingly I hadn't planned on recording me removing the devices, but once I started doing so (e.g. unraveling the tape from around my neck, trying to free my hands from the tape that ha tied them together...), I noticed the pain and discomfort they were causing me, and I got my sister to film them too. I must bear in mind that all elements of these performances are relevant: I like to imagine I am conducting the series of these in front of a live audience (who would see all the transitions and processes), but, due to other factors including the pandemic, although even before it I had been planning to film these, so that there is an artificial live audience through virtual means. This is why I have them filmed in one continuous take, with minimal editing save me cutting out the bits where I am counting down to the camera/ telling them to stop filming and fiddling around with the likes of brightness/ contrast/ warmth to make more striking and impactful images. I like there to be the illusion of reality, I think because I feel as if it portrays the messages I am trying to say more accurately and more impactfully. For that same reason, I like them to be filmed by hand instead of a tripod: one does not sit perfectly still when watching a performance, particularly ones such as this which may cause you to shift around uncomfortably as you watch. And anyway, even if I wanted to film it on a tripod, I wouldn't be able to, cos I don't have one! 

This also seems as good a time as any to discuss why I say the reactions of people containing "lots of shock and disgust which is always a good sign". However much I would like for people to whip themselves en masse with gaffer tape whips or suffocate themselves by blocking off their airways with gaffer tape, I am fully aware that very few people would actually be willing. Hence I try to make the works as graphic as possible so that the pain I am feeling best translates to the emotions they will be experiencing, and so they can escape entropy with me. Therefore, if people are shocked and disgusted by my work, it means my intentions are coming across, and we can all revel in my suffering. I will ensure I collect detailed feedback from people at some point soon so that I will be able to elaborate on this.

Reflections on my Research

When I respond to research sources, I often find myself realising certain things about my own work that I previously hadn't considered. This has happened quite a few times this past week, so I have cut them out and collated them all here for better appreciation:

"But whereas I am using pain to escape, Gaga is trying to escape pain, and I think that is a really interesting comparison. Pain has so many meanings and variations that often are entirely subjective, and so it is something to bear in mind as I continue hurting myself in the name of art." (Lady Gaga, 22/03/20)

"It helped me to understand that mine and Gaga's experiences aren't necessarily different. The pain I am causing is self-inflicted and controlled so that I don't come to any actual long-lasting harm. I am inflicting it upon myself as a message, hence it is art. This art is then being used to try and find a way of distracting myself and temporarily escaping from the entropy of our existence, which is causing the psychological pain at a much deeper and much more damaging level (on that point, the sudden rise to fame and all the chaos that ensued for Gaga demonstrates the entropy of her life that made dealing with her rape, and the pain that then caused, all the more difficult)." (Art Therapy, 23/03/20)

"Throughout this project I have felt that there has been a conflict in the way I am using entropy in art, and the way established artists have used it, and this essay made me realise why. Smithson seems to view entropy as a destination: the point where chaos has increased so a state of absolute homogeneity. I, on the other hand, see it as a process of chaos, a journey if you will. Both are valid ways of thinking about it, but it explains why the work I create is so completely different to the likes of Smithson, Flaving, Bell etc. In this way it is comforting, because it has felt as if I have been doing something wrong, and now I know I am doing nothing of the sort." (Robert Smithson, 23/03/20)

"It is a reminder that there is no permanent solution to our entropic existence, and that I need to be careful before I start proclaiming wild ideas of a solution: I am a distraction, nothing more, nothing less." (Doctor Who, 23/03/20)

"It brings to light the power of pain: it allows empathy to be established, so people are drawn together, and connections are made all the more powerful, even if they are virtual." (Games of Pain, 23/03/20)

Reflection on artists' responses to the coronavirus outbreak

A major consequence of the virus has been the fact that galleries, exhibitions and performances (e.g. Martin O'Brien's at the ICA) have had to be closed/ postponed. This is reflective of the situation with the Park project, and so I thought it would be interesting to consider how other artists have dealt with the situation. When you start to consider singers and comedians and drag queens and all of that it becomes obvious: the Internet. Entire concerts have been moved to a live stream- Baga Chipz, for example, replaced a cancelled show with an Instagram live-stream. Furthermore, galleries such as Art Basel have set up online viewing rooms (this isn't in the wake of the virus, but it still applies). I already take advantage of such platforms, posting everything I create on my art account, but if I really focus on the properties of social media, then the work I create can function in a similar way to how it was intended, just digital. For instance, instead of people going inside the headpiece, I can use my phone to record it's experiences inside it- people can opt in or out by simply turning the sound on or off, or scrolling past if they're particularly unbothered. It's certainly something to look into.

The coronavirus has created an additional layer of entropy to the one we were already existing in, that much is clear, so I think it is vital I consider how other artists are managing the situation. As far as I can find at this moment, I am quite alone in torturing myself as a distraction, but art that takes the piss of the situation (such as Tommy Fung) is rife. Whilst my work is not explicitly funny, and I'm not going to be changing it to make it more light-hearted, there is a certain element of dark humour which arises. However, like I say, I am sticking with pain as my tool for distraction, because it is independent of situations, whereas comedy relies on the situation it is in to be funny (a site specific performance, if you will). If I am going to detach myself from the outside world, then I don't want to be thinking about the outside world, whatever the context.

Some sad news. The rapid acceleration of the coronavirus has meant that significant changes to the course and how we work have had to be made, along with the fact that Park will no longer go ahead as planned. I am deeply saddened, but as artists it is our duty to adapt and work with what we have in order to deal with the situation. I am very glad that I was able to finish the headpiece last week (I added the gaffer tape elements today, I'll talk about that properly in a bit), because that means I have a lot to work with. Instead of creating a frame to house the headpiece, for people to then come along and put on, I shall be the sole wearer of the headpiece (for hygiene purposes, in light of the current events). Other people will then pull on the 'chains' that would have held it up, and shout into the cones, creating this torturous experience for me. I will do this either in my garden or in the field round by the back of my house, with my friends and family, so that the piece still responds to a green space, and is interacted with by as many people as possible.

As I mentioned, today I managed to incorporate the gaffer tape with the headpiece, creating this strange, slightly disjointed looking object, which I think works quite nicely with the theme (a kind of uncomfortable experience, with these two materials that on the face of it look similar enough in terms of their colour, but the materiality is wholly different creating this weird clash that still seems to be cohesive). It is no longer just a safety feature, it is as much a part of the work as anything else. In fact, I will probably use the tape to create the 'chains' to pull and interact with the sculpture.

It is very strange to wear. The first thing you notice is the weight- it's a hefty buggar and honestly it's probably not the worst thing to happen that people won't be able to wear it, otherwise I might be sued for spinal damage. However, the tape alleviates the worst of it, allowing you to focus on how the headpiece plays with the surroundings. In terms of visuals, your sight is significantly limited, only giving you a small window into one specific point, allowing you to focus on it, and perhaps understand it more. Not to mention the fact it's surrounded by a halo of steel, which adds a coldness to the image for sure, but also a sense of hope- not to be cliched, but it is literally a light at the end of the tunnel, which is quite cute. The effect it has on the sound is an interesting one. Not only do you get the general effect of a slight echo bouncing around your head, gently altering how you perceive that sound, but it has the odd effect of pinpointing sounds in the same way it did with the light, giving you this really focused sound from one direction, and then a kind of slightly hazy sound for everything else, which is rather odd and a bit disorientating. As such, you feel distant from everything else around you, and rather alone, achieving the isolationary aspect I so desired.

In terms of the rest of the work I create, it obviously needs to be something I can do at home, so I will use the tape, the headpiece (which I brought home) and any other relevant materials I have lying about the house to create the series of quick Wurm-inspired sculptural performances, which will be documented then compiled at a later date.

Considerations on the wider implications of my work:

Triggering nature

The extreme nature of my work, focused around what is essentially controlled self-harm, is understandably problematic and triggering for people who may have trauma relating to the actions I am taking, or for those who just find it incredibly uncomfortable to watch. Whilst those people have my deepest sympathies, I'm not going to stop what I'm doing. If people feel uncomfortable watching me, then they should stop watching me. My work is extreme on purpose: it is my way of saying that the only way we can escape (or at least distract ourselves) from our entropic existence is by defying natural instinct and subjecting ourselves to pain, both physical and emotional, so that we can no longer focus on the chaos, instead the sharp light of certainty that is suffering. It's not nice, freedom is never easy, but it is necessary.

Coronavirus

When I previously discussed the implications of coronavirus on the work I was creating, it was at a stage of uncertainty and hysteria, so for the most part I disregarded it. Now that it has been declared a pandemic and people are getting infected and dying every day, I think it is worthwhile to reflect on the implications it will have on my work. Masks and headpieces are central parts to this project, and I am asking the public to wear a headpiece for Park. With concerns over hygiene, it is increasingly unlikely that many people will want to partake in the piece, which is unfortunate, but I will still do my performance, so at the very least I will be interacting with it. 

It is interesting to think, however, how people are using masks to protect themselves from the virus, and yet as soon as they become shared as mine will be, they become compromised. Hence there is an isolationism caused by the outbreak, which, interestingly, is one of my ways of escaping entropy. One could argue that the coronavirus and the panic it has caused is telltale of a sort of biological entropy. As such, people refusing to wear the headpiece actually STRENGTHENS my point, because it's existence deters people from interacting with the entropy, which is all rather neat (aside from the people dying bit, that's not so good).

First things first, I'm sure you've all been desperate to find out, but I got tickets to see LADY GAGAAAAAAA!!!! Anyway, now that's out of the way, let's get on with the more serious stuff. I started off my day with my progress tutorial, which went rather well. Some points came up, but I will reflect on those in a separate post. Aside from that, today hasn't been massively different to the rest this week, as I've been working on the headpiece, however, I can say that all metalwork on the headpiece is done! This gives me more time to work out the best ways to incorporate the gaffer tape into the work, as well as the frame for the cage. I know I said that I wanted legs, but I changed my mind again: it needs to be moveable and interactive, which if it had static legs just wouldn't work (not to mention it would make it look like some sort of creature, which I do not want to happen), which also means it is accessible again (yay!). In terms of the cage, Adrian suggested today that it be cuboid in shape, not cylindrical, because it will be easier to build. I have no problem with this, as the shape of the cage isn't central to what I'm trying to say. 

Just quickly, I gained another skill today: welding. It was great fun and means I'm able to build more and more stuff, potentially helping me with the frame building.

Aside from not being able to get Lady Gaga tickets in the pre-sale (there's always the general sale on Friday, I'll keep you posted), today was rather good indeed, for I am getting fully in the swing of things with the Park piece. I spent the morning bending and hammering and then spot-welding all the semi-demi circles into cones (after cutting some slits in the rim so that it can bend, ooh that sounds awfully laden with innuendo dunnit?) which was a bit of a work out, especially for my thumbs oddly enough, they're still aching now... Anyway, over lunch I made a lil paper version of the headpiece and realised that in order to get the final shape I wanted, I needed another cone! Hence quick as a flash, I whipped out another semi-demi circle from some scrap, coned that baby all up and we were ready to rock and roll! I think I might marry the spot-welder considering how close we've gotten over the months (ooh, maybe we'll make it a three-way with the bandsaw, I do love that lad. Then again, these past couple of days have been filled with the bright passion of the angle grinder, so they can join in too. It's a party!!), but our acquaintance came in very handy today, as I used it to piece together the headpiece. With a few extra strips of steel to hold some cones in place/ support the rim, we get to where we are in the picture above, with the basic elements of the headpiece formed! It's still quite rough with quite a few sharp edges, but I'll take some time on Thursday to grind that all own to a nice smooth finish.

Now obviously this is only the first part of many of this work, in fact I would go as far to say it is the only certain part of this work- the rest is hazy and unclear, however, I had quite a bit of time to think whilst doing all that work and I had a few ideas which I would like to share. The first one is about the presentation of the work in the park. This thing is heavy and I just don't think any form of flexibility (namely suspension so that people can lift it and put it on their own heads) is going to be safe enough. My solution: keep it static, perhaps on legs. I know that this sacrifices accessibility, but it's a decision I have to make in order to guarantee safety. People can come up under the work and put their heads in from below (in other words, they move, not the work), or kids can be lifted up into it, so the interactive element is still there, just safer :D. If possible, I would make it detachable in some way so that I can do the performance I want to do with it, but if not, I'll think of something.

The next conundrum I tackled in my head is that of the padding element, and I'm rather pleased at the fluidity and simplicity in this solution: gaffer tape. As I demonstrated with the mask, it can be scrunched up then encased to form a sort of cushion. It is incredibly versatile, so can easily be incorporated into the rest of the work, I'm thinking as some form of drapery to turn it into a full sculptural costume. When layered properly it is waterproof and very strong, so is suitable for outdoor use, and perhaps most importantly of all, I have use it before in this project and others, so there is a sense of continuity that simply wouldn't be achieved with fabric. Marvellous! I shall draw up new designs hopefully by tomorrow, if not the day after!

These weeks just keep on getting busier and busier... So, first up, on our Park rewind, we have the proposals. I'm glad to say that I didn't have to completely change my idea for park, namely just detaching it from the surrounding greenery and making it free-standing. That also meant that it was a weight off my chest (for now), and that I could focus on developing more outcomes for the rest of Part 3. I will, however, start making the headpiece for Park next week during progress tutorials, because it is a large piece of work that will need lots of time to complete an I don't want to rush it. This is also good, because it puts me a week ahead of schedule on the timetable, so it gives me more freedom when it comes to making/ selecting something for the likes of the Lethaby show.

In terms of the rest of Part 3, I've made good headway. This week marks a detachment from the solely physical side of pain, instead looking more at isolation, sensory deprivation and generating my own state of entropy. This is best demonstrated with the gaffer tape sensory deprivation mask I made, a 'device', if you will, that completely shuts you off from the outside world. Furthermore, through that mask, I was able to produce a sound piece, which was used in a range of following sculptures and the first of a couple of sculptural films (well, if you're gonna be pedantic, technically one film and one set of raw footage that will be edited on Monday) that capture notions of nausea and isolation as well as your good old fashioned torture/ BDSM sort of thing. As a side note, this is the second time on the foundation that I have used gaffer tape, and the second time something incredibly sexual has come out of it. I think it's best I leave it at that.

Overall, it has been a very successful week, with good progress being made in both Park and the rest of Part 3. Next week I aim to finish the film I started yesterday, but with the primary focus of getting started on making my Park piece, as well as using the larger amount of non-studio time available to conduct further research and perhaps visiting more exhibitions.

Roit, onto the workshops/ seminars section. We had two today, the first of the Real Impact seminars first, then Fritha's performance workshop. Naturally, I will start with the former. Now, I was quite tired this morning, so it's entirely possible I zoned out (tisn't unheard of), but I don't feel like I got particularly much from it. There was a chat about the Anthropocene which then morphed into one about art, but it felt like the same things were being said, and they were all things that I've heard said before. Then we looked at a couple of artists, told to research into some of our own, then it was over. That being said, other people seemed to have enjoyed it much more than I did, so I am fairly confident I all but blacked out, which is a shame, but there's still two more, so hopefully I'll be more with it for those.

Next up we have Fritha's performance workshop, and Fritha, if you're reading this, this was by far my favourite part of the day. It was fun and it was engaging, everything you want from a workshop on a miserable Thursday afternoon. We started off looking at silence, and the power of it and the tension it causes. I really enjoy the discomfort caused by long silences, I like to think I feed off of awkward giggles and fidgets. There was a point when I was waiting for someone to break it, but it wasn't happening, so I let go of my inhibitions and did what felt natural: I rolled up my sleeves, made my wrists touch and put my palms on my mouth, and I blew a raspberry into them, generating a lovely fart sound. This action was purely instinctive, something I feel performance needs to be, reacting to the context around it, and it also got a good few laughs which is always nice. After that and an exercise with shoes, we had a chat about how we might incorporate performative elements into our Park pieces- I talked about how as well as the park users being able to wear the piece, there'll be times when I'll wear it, and move with it, make sounds with it, something along the lines of making it out like I'm trying to escape (relating to my PPP nicely). The final thing we did, which was quite revolutionary for me actually, was flash mob the cafetorium and dance (without any music). I've always had a funny relationship with dancing- I'm all loosey goosey with alcohol, but force me to dance when I'm sober and with an audience, I stiffen up and feel very uncomfortable. However, tis good to push oneself, so I forced myself to let go, and gradually I got used to it (having other people around me doing it too helped), and ended up having a great time whilst the couple of people working in the cafetorium gave us confused and bemused looks (the best kind of looks). I even started a can-can line! What a marvellous way to spend an hour, I look forward to next time!

Today was comprised of lots of playing around with ideas- I made a wheeled platform (in wood, allowing a nice little development in ya boi's bandsawing and drilling-castor-wheels-into-said-bandsawed-piece-of-wood skills) and  for people to stand on and spin as they wear an assortment of things on their heads. Initially it was a bucket, which seemed appropriate considering my previous affiliation with the object. I taped a speaker to the inside of the bucket, which played the sound piece I made of me being tortured, which when combined with the spinning, would create a nauseating effect. I chose the bucket because it would block out visual information nicely, playing with the themes of isolation and sensory deprivation, distancing the person from the entropy of the outside world, and allowing me to generate my own with the sounds and the motion, enabling me to control it. However, the sound itself wasn't enough to create the controlled-entropic effect I wanted, so I switched it for a washing machine drum (naturally), where the repeated pattern of holes let only sections of light and imagery through, which when span, became even more disorientating than the bucket. Furthermore, the metal comprising the drum resonates much better than the plastic of the buckets, so the resultant altering of the sound from the speaker was much more interesting (in a similar manner to the coneI made on Monday).

Once I had played around with that, it got me thinking into how I could refine this into an outcome. I really enjoyed the concept of the sensory deprivation being caused by something that goes on the head (for that is where most of the main senses are locate), combined with rotation to create a sense of nausea (consequently forming a new type of torture art), so I started playing around some materials lying around me, when I found the gaffer tape lying in my bag. Now, regular readers will know how I inherited my love of gaffer tape from my father, who proclaimed that it can do anything! And each day I become more and more inclined to agree. Gaffer tape is a medium that I feel is underused by the artistic community, and I want to give it a voice, to be its spokesperson, because it is so versatile (and I don't mean it's a bottom lying to themselves)! I created the above mask entirely out of the stuff. There is something also quite sexual about it as a material, which comes in handy because...

THIS MASK GAGS ME :)

That's right folks, as well as shoving a wad of tape into my mouth so I can't talk, there are knobs going up my nostrils, into my eyes and through my ear holes (oi oi). It also has the handy feature in that all that means my breathing is quite severely restricted! Fun times. But anyway, this mask does what I intended, because I cannot see, I can't taste anything, and I can smell nothing but the sweet sweet smell of gaffer glue. In terms of hearing, although I can still perceive sound, it is very muffled and perhaps more interestingly, it confused my sound localisation abilities (someone called my name whilst I had it on and I "looked" in the completely wrong direction). Through this mask I have escaped the chaos of our lives, because with it on, I become an isolated system- as far as I'm aware, the outside doesn't exist, my only aim is to make sure I'm breathing, cos boy does it get tricky after a while. When I combine this with the spinning platform (I didn't have time to do that today), the total nausea effect will create a torturous experience that may supercede the likes of zappy mask and slappy stick.

There are a few things about this mask I want to take forward: firstly, the sound of me breathing in it is very heavy and somewhat pained, so I think it would be very useful to use in a future sound piece, perhaps I will fill the studio with it or something. On top of that, I feel it has film potential- Fritha reminded me of sensory deprivation tanks, so I could recreate one of those with a bath and the mask, and I get filmed as I lower myself further and further into it, with my breathing getting louder and louder...

This week has been fundamental in starting Part 3, for both general work and working towards Park. With the first two works I made on Monday, I was able to test the waters in how I might go about this project, as well as what people's reactions might be. I know now that I want to be mostly creating works that inflict some kind of harm on the user (user being a keyword- all the sculptures I will be making are intended to be used and performed with), whether it's physical such as with the mask and the slap stick, or emotional. The latter I think will be good to explore next week, looking at sensory deprivation/ isolation, and perhaps using the sound piece I created this week in tandem with the works, so that I can create a new existence in a sense for the audience. I also discussed in my PPP timetable about wanting to do Erwin Wurm-esque sculptures where I have an object and some instructions for people to do- I touched on this with the slap stick, but I will do it more explicitly next week. I shall discuss in a sec about how I want to be making some cones in preparation for Park, so perhaps getting people to make sounds into them could be a good idea for something to do.

This week has also birthed the idea for my Park project piece, creating a headpiece Park users can put on so that they distance themselves from the chaos of their lives and experience their surroundings differently. Next week I want to start material experiments to inform my proposal writing, looking at what works best in terms of the sounds created, making cones (and finding the best way to make them).

With the Park proposal deadline looming, I thought it would probably be best to come up with a rough idea of what I wanted to do (resulting in lots of sketches that can be found in my book). As well as relating to my Unit 4 project, the work needs to respond to the Park (and because it is in a public space, I can't intentionally hurt anyone ). I also want to incorporate a sonic element into the work, but without the need for speakers, cos it's a park, and last I checked there's not many plug sockets in those sorts of places. Eventually I landed on creating this headpiece (surprise, surprise) composed of a series of trumpet-style funnel shapes stuck together in a rough sphere shape, which would be chained to two trees- people can then come along, put it on, and experience the sounds of their surroundings in an amplified and more altered sense (I anticipate the wind will sound very cool, so here's hoping for a breezy exhibition!). Having it connected to the trees strengthens that connection to the park and highlights the conflict between nature and the work, although if needs be I can create beams to do the same job. This work focuses more on the isolation and sensory deprivation aspect of the project (although the chains and the tension caused by them relates it to torture and pain and restriction quite nicely), disconnecting the person from the entropy of their surroundings, and then creating a new one with the assortment of sounds that will be collected and created in the helmet. I would also like to incorporate an actual performance into this work, although exactly what it will be I have no clue (screaming perhaps...).

Materials-wise, I'm not saying any definites. My initial thoughts were metal, probably steel for it's welding capabilities, due to how it works with sound and its durability outdoors (I like the idea of a bit of rust), but I won't restrict myself. In the next few days I'll experiment with different materials (e.g. papier mache, card, although not plastics seeing as part of this project requires us to be environmentally considerate), including how to go about making the cones in steel. I do know that I would like a mirror finish where possible (I've looked up how to do it on steel, seems feasible), but I shall see where this takes me!

This week has really shaped and given me a massive insight into how this project is going to shape out. Initially I was researching into sculptural performance as something to base my PPP on, but I quickly realised, reading the likes of Steinle, C. (2017). Erwin Wurm. Berlin: Hatje Cantz, pp.25-37; Weir, K. (2012). Sculpture is everything. Brisbane: Queensland Art Gallery / Gallery of Modern Art, pp.53-56; Scott, J. (2014). The language of mixed-media sculpture. Ramsbury: The Crowood Press and Coxon, A., Curtis, P., Daniel, M. and Borchardt-Hume, A. (2015). Alexander Calder: Performing Sculpture. 1st ed. London: Tate Publishings that sculptural performance works best as a method to be used when exploring other themes. I had really enjoyed incorporating scientific ideas into my previous work, particularly around entropy, and I wanted to do so again, so that I could really focus and understand the concept before, and work out a project theme (hence the rather extensive reading into the topic and its relation to art- this is also where I discovered that I need to be very careful with the technical words I'm using, lest I upset a bunch of arrogant scientists who insist that only they can use scientific constructs). It is a universal construct, and consequently it permeates into our society (in a more metaphorical sense), represented by all the disorder and chaos we live in- every decision we make and action we take is added to all those that came before, resulting in a cacophony of possibilities. It becomes unbearable, and we all, deep down long for escape. Different artists have dealt with these ideas in their own way (whether intentionally or not). Most famously, many Minimalist artists such as Larry Bell used their work to create order in the chaos, and instigate a level of control to mitigate the inevitable increase of entropy. Artists such as Ken Unsworth, Stelarc and Ron Athey all push their bodies to the limits, generating so much physical pain I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like. But there is a clarity to pain, a certainty if you will. Perhaps it is the least uncertain and disordered aspect to our lives, and perhaps this is why it is so good at distracting us from all the chaos around us. Hence I think pain, and making works that cause pain, is a good basis for this project to start on, with the possibility of branching out into isolation/ sensory deprivation (which are a sort of pain in a way, albeit a more emotional one), as well as even creating my own state of entropy to challenge the one that already exists (in a similar way to Yayoi Kusama). On that note, my interest in sound will probably come in very handy here- it is very easy to manipulate sound into a state of chaos and so looking into that would also be really great for this project. All of these are possible avenues to take to help me escape entropy.